11 กฎเหล็กจากหนัง Zombieland เอาชีวิตรอดจากโลกซอมบี้สุดป่วน

คุณคงจะสงสัยว่า Columbus (รับบทโดย Jesse Eisenberg) ชายหนุ่มท่าทางอ่อนแอ พระเอกหนังซอมบี้สุดฮิตสุดฮาอย่าง Zombieland ทำไมถึงสามารถเอาชีวิตรอดอยู่ได้นานในโลกที่เต็มไปด้วยซอมบี้ เหตุผลหลักๆมีเพียงอย่างเดียวนั่นก็คือ เขาได้สร้างกฏเหล็กขึ้นมาและทำตามมันอย่างเคร่งครัดนั่นเอง โดยภายในภาคแรกได้มีการเปิดเผยออกมาว่าจริงๆแล้วกฎของเขาจะมีมากถึง 32 ข้อ แต่ที่ปรากฏออกมามีเพียง 11 ข้อเท่านั้น ไม่แน่ว่าหากโลกเราเกิดเหตุการณ์ซอมบี้ขึ้นจริงๆ กฎทั้ง 11 ข้อของ Columbus เหล่านี้อาจช่วยให้เราเอาตัวรอดจากโลกที่โหดร้ายได้ ก็ได้นะ

1.คาร์ดิโอ

เพื่อที่จะเอาตัวรอดจากการไล่ล่าของเหล่าซอมบี้ คุณจำเป็นจะต้องวิ่ง! นั่นหมายความว่าคุณจะต้องออกกำลังกายอย่างสม่ำเสมอ ให้มีรูปร่างที่ดี หุ่นเฟิร์ม หากคุณปล่อยเนื้อปล่อยตัวจนเกินไป มันอาจทำให้คุณตกเป็นเหยื่อของซอมบี้ได้

2.อย่าลืมซ้ำ

หากมันยังไม่น่าไว้ใจ อย่าขี้เหนียวกระสุนเป็นอันขาด! เราจะรู้ดีว่าซอมบี้ส่วนใหญ่มักจะตายยากหากไม่โดนยิงที่หัว หากคุณประมาทมันอาจจะลุกขึ้นมากัดคุณอีกครั้งก็ได้ ดังนั้นเพื่อทางที่ดี คุณควรจะซ้ำมันที่หัวจนแน่ใจว่ามันตายจริง ไม่อย่างนั้นความประมาทเพียงแค่เสี้ยววินาที อาจนำพาคุณไปสู่ความตายได้เลย

3.ระวังห้องน้ำ

สถานที่ที่คุณจะสามารถป้องกันตัวเองได้น้อยที่สุดคือ ห้องน้ำ! ดังนั้นคุณจะต้องระวังตัวให้มากเป็นพิเศษ

4.คาดเข็มขัดนิรภัย

ในโลกที่ล่มสลายนี้คุณจะไม่ได้ขับรถอยู่บนเส้นทางที่สะดวกสบายเหมือนเมื่อก่อนอีกต่อไป ดังนั้นเพื่อความปลอดภัยทุกครั้งที่ขับรถคุณควรจะคาดเข็มขัดนิรภัยด้วย เพื่อป้องกันการบาดเจ็บหากเกิดอุบัติเหตุขึ้น

5.เดินทางด้วยของน้อยๆและสิ่งจำเป็น

ในตอนที่คุณต้องเผชิญหน้าและหลบหนีเอาชีวิตรอดจากฝูงซอมบี้ สิ่งสุดท้ายที่คุณอยากจะทำคือการหิ้วกระเป๋าสัมภาระใหญ่ๆไปไหนมาไหนด้วยจริงไหม เพราะนอกจากมันจะทำให้คุณช้าแล้ว มันอาจเป็นสิ่งที่ทำให้คุณสะดุดล้มและกลายเป็นอาหารของเหล่าซอมบี้ได้

6.อย่าทำตัวเป็นฮีโร่

ข้อนี้อาจเป็นข้อที่สำคัญที่สุดในทั้งหมด คือ อย่าเอาชีวิตที่มีค่าของตัวเองเข้าไปเสี่ยงเพียงแค่เพื่อทำให้ตัวเองดูเท่เป็นอันขาด เพราะสิ่งที่ตามมามันอาจจะไม่คุ้มเลยก็ได้

7.วอร์มร่างกาย

ก่อนที่คุณจะเข้าไปยังสถานที่ติดเชื้อที่เต็มไปด้วยซอมบี้ คุณจะต้องเตรียมตัวให้พร้อม วอร์มอัพ ยืดหยุ่นร่างกาย เพื่อเผชิญหน้ากับสิ่งที่อาจคาดไม่ถึง

8.เมื่อเจอสถานที่น่าสงสัย จะต้องรู้ทางหนีด้วย

ในทุกๆครั้งที่คุณจะเข้าไปในสถานที่ใดๆก็ตามทั้งที่ดูปลอดภัยและน่าสงสัย อย่าลืมที่จะหาทางออกที่สะดวกด้วย เพื่อการเตรียมพร้อมในการหลบหนีด้วย และอย่าลืมเช็คประตูว่ามันล็อคอยู่ด้วยรึเปล่านะ

9.มีระบบบัดดี้เสมอ

คุณไม่สามารถมองไปข้างหน้าพร้อมๆกับมองไปข้างหลังได้ ดังนั้นมันจึงมีความจำเป็นมากที่จะไปไหนมาไหนพร้อมๆกับเพื่อนอย่างน้อยๆ 1 คนเสมอ สองหัวดีกว่าหัวเดียวจริงไหม

10.อย่าลืมเช็คเบาะหลัง

ก่อนที่จะสตาร์ทรถและขับรถออกเดินทาง ไม่ว่าจะเป็นรถของเราเองที่เราคุ้นเคยหรือว่ารถของคนอื่นที่เราจะต้องใช้ อย่าลืมว่าต้องเช็คเบาะหลังอยู่เสมอ เพราะไม่แน่ว่า ด้านหลังอาจมีบางอย่างแอบอยู่ ไม่ว่าจะเป็นซอมบี้หรือมนุษย์ผู้ประสงค์ร้ายก็ตาม

11.สนุกไปกับสิ่งเล็กๆน้อยๆ

ในโลกที่เต็มไปด้วยความโหดร้ายและต้องเอาชีวิตรอดจากเหล่าซอมบี้ คุณก็ต้องหาเวลาให้ความสุขกับตัวเองเพื่อไม่ให้เครียดด้วย ดังนั้นมันจึงเป็นการดีที่จะทำในสิ่งที่อยากทำ สนุกไปกับอะไรเล็กๆน้อยๆ สมองคุณจะได้โล่งและคิดบวกเข้าไว้

แถมกับอีก 1 กฎ ที่ควรทำ แต่ไม่ได้ถูกพูดถึงในหนัง คือ

อย่าแกล้ง หลอกให้คนอื่นกลัวในสถานการณ์ที่โลกเต็มไปด้วยซอมบี้ มิฉะนั้น คุณอาจจะโดนยิงเข้าหน้าอกจังๆ เหมือนกับที่ Bill Murry โดน Colombus ยิงจนตาย เพราะนึกว่าเป็นซอมบี้ ดังนั้นในสถานการณ์แบบนี้ ไม่ควรเล่นแผลงๆเป็นอันขาดโดยเฉพาะอย่างยิ่ง กับผู้ที่พยายามเอาชีวิตรอดและมีปืนอยู่ในมือ!

เรียบเรียงจาก: https://zombie.fandom.com

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